Season 01 Ep 04: When You're the Last To Know – When Your Child Comes Out As Transgender
Most cis-gender people have a hard time imagining what it's like to be transgender but I don't know anyone who hasn't had some experience of not being seen for who they truly are.
Maybe you know what it's like to have someone look straight through you. Maybe your voice or ideas are regularly left out of meetings. Maybe you've been on the receiving end of some absolutely terrible customer service that leaves you wondering whether the person sees you as another human being.
Ultimately, not being seen sucks.
And yet transgender people regularly go unseen and even worse—they regularly have the experience of dealing with people and institutions that refuse to see them. They are regularly met with messages from strangers, family members, and friends that who they are is wrong, that it isn’t real, or that they’re just confused.
To constantly have your life and identity in question hurts—and it often triggers a deep sense of scarcity and shame. Unfortunately, shame can make us feel totally alone and like we'll never be good enough.
During our campfire talk today, we’ll hear from fierce and kind mom, Jennifer. Jennifer will share about her experience with her kid, Aaron, coming out and having to swim through the sea of shame with him to a place of resilience and healing.
Please note that this story is a bit more intense than ones we’ve shared previously but it highlights an incredibly important and very real threat to transgender children.
So, I Have A Question
Jennifer’s story might have brought up some questions for you so in the second part of this episode, Dr. Linda Hawkins, PHD. will lend us her expertise and answer some common questions she and I receive from parents as we do this work.
Dr. Hawkins is the Director of the Affirmative Therapy for Transgender Communities Training Program at Widener University & Director of the Gender & Sexuality Development Program at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. She has more than 20 years of experience as a clinician.
Find this episode for free on your favorite podcast player.
Check out the full episode to hear about:
Jennifer shares her son’s coming out story and her first response to it and, if she could go back, what she would say now
Why Jennifer reached out for professional help right away after her son came out as transgender—and how she found the right therapist for their family
How Jennifer and her husband worked together to support each other and their son
Dr. Hawkins discusses the very real threat of suicide for transgender people, the role parents play in keeping their child alive, and different ways that parents can show love and affirmation to their transgender children