Season 01 Ep 08: Learning How To Be An Ally To Your Trans Child
I know a lot of parents who, when their child first came out to them as transgender, were not surprised and celebrated their child’s ability, courage and willingness to live their life authentically.
However, I also know a lot of parents who started in a place of fear and denial about what their child was telling them. This followed with them pushing back and denying their child the ability to explore what they were feeling in a safe way—or express themselves in a way that felt authentic to them.
For those parents, the journey to understanding and affirming their child is a journey and it usually doesn’t come overnight. Over time, through their own education, self-reflection and growth, these same parents shifted to an affirming lens and started to celebrate their child for who they are.
In between is where it can get messy and, oftentimes, the child is the one who feels the weight of it. Unfortunately, that emotional load can have lifelong repercussions—both for the child and for the parent-child relationship.
In the first part of this episode, you’re going to hear from Brave Mom, Shawna.
Shawna is letting us in on some of the struggles that she and her son have gone through after he came out six years ago in addition to being a mom of a transgender boy, and how to be an ally and an advocate for your trans child.
So, I Have A Question:
This interview with Shawna will probably bring up a lot of questions for you around how to become an ally to your trans kid.
That’s why I’ve solicited the help of Jenn Burleton.
Jenn is considered an authority and nationally recognized leader on issues relating to transgender and gender diverse children and youth.
In addition to her role as founder and program director of TransActive Gender Project at Lewis & Clark Graduate School of Education and Counseling, Jenn has served on Oregon Health & Science University’s Transgender Program Advisory Committee, and the LGBTQ Child Welfare Workgroup for Multnomah County.
She was awarded the 2014 Multnomah County “Sy Award” for a lifetime commitment to social justice. On top of all of this – she’s one of the few remaining elders of the trans community and an absolute delight.
I fully intend on making her one of my new best friends, and a regular here at Camp.
Find this episode for free on your favorite podcast player.
Check out the full episode to hear about:
Shawna’s experience navigating her relationship with her son throughout his gender journey
How Shawna has showed up for her son by advocating for him publicly with family members and at his school
Why advocating for our transgender children can sometimes feel like we’re constantly explaining to people
Jenn explains why there is no one-size-fits-all playbook for families with transgender kids
How to avoid damaging your relationship with your kiddo who’s come out as trans