Season 03 Ep 06: Sharing the Weight of Coming Out

episode header with quote These teens are still kids and we expect them to be these adults without ever really giving them the skills or the training to do that.

Coming out is an age old tradition for queer kids. Some even think of it as a right of passage.

But what we don’t really consider is how emotionally taxing it is for the person doing the coming out. What we don’t realize is that by even having this cultural set up, we’re creating a world where our kids are othered. Wouldn’t it be lovely if we didn’t have to come out and we could just be ourselves without having to explain our identity to anyone?

I realize that the world is far from this utopia I imagine. But it’s not as far away as we were when I was a kid. A world where they don’t have to come out, and just get to be is coming.

But that day is not today. And as you navigate the coming out process it is sure to bring up lots of questions. So to help us in this conversation, I’ve asked my good friend and co-counselor, Jess Guerriero to join us. 

Jess Guerriero always wanted to be a Boy Scout and comes prepared as your guest counselor to journey through all of the adventures and self-discovery at Camp Wild Heart. Though afraid of the dark, they are not afraid to go to dark places with young people and their families to find some hope and reasons for staying alive. When not at Camp Wild Heart, they utilize their training in social work and their nerdy gender studies degree to help gender expansive youth and adults navigate exploring their identities and identifying ways to feel affirmed. They also bring their fierce and tender heart into parenting their five-year-old and loving on the various members of their relationship constellation. They come to Camp Wild Heart with almost 14 years of experience working with youth and families.

Find this episode for free on your favorite podcast player.

Check out the full episode to hear about:

  • Questions for parents and kiddos to consider when deciding when, how, and to whom to come out

  • How well-meaning family members can unintentionally disrupt and stunt their relationships

  • The impact of your language and framing when making an announcement on behalf of your kiddo

  • Why parents need to set boundaries and expectations for family members’ questions about their kiddo’s transition

Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham:

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Season 03 Ep 07: Talking Queerness: Gender-Affirming Perspectives and Resources with Lindz Amer

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Season 03 Ep 05: Growing Alongside Your Kiddo